Shake It Out
by Shanban
Summary: Olivia is attacked and her gut tells her to go to Elliot for help. Can he handle seeing her hurt? Will he finally see that he has to be true to his feelings? Rated M for violence, language, and hopefully some fun EO times. Set after Elliot has left SVU. Kathy and Elliot are divorced; it all comes together, promise :)
1. Chapter 1

**Me here... Owning NOTHING as usual. I'm really excited about starting this new story. I hate hurting my Livvie but I have loved the idea of this story for a while. Probably will be a pretty long story and completely EO as usual, but I really hope to include a lot more of the cast. But have fun reading!**

"You alright, sweetheart?"

Olivia looked up at her inquisitive cab driver, she didn't blame him for being concerned, she was in terrible shape. "Yeah, I'm fine… just go."

The driver nodded and pulled into the ongoing traffic. Olivia ran her hand through her hair and was disgusted to feel wetness on her scalp. She brought her hand into sight and saw the thick red liquid on her fingers. She whimpered at the sight and rubbed her hands violently on her clothes to clean her hands, tears welling in her eyes. She ached all over her body; she could feel how deep the bruise on her face was by the throbbing. She knew she must have had cuts all over her face and was glad she couldn't see them.

While try to gather her thoughts, she asked, "Hey…um, what time is it?"

Her cab driver looked at his watch quickly, "it's three in the morning…..look, are you sure you don't need a doctor?" He asked as he looked at her in his mirror.

She tried to give him a small smile, "No, I'm okay…" Seeing the way he looked at her she knew that he didn't buy it at all, "It's not as bad as it looks…" She said, slightly ashamed.

"I work late nights in New York City… I've seen this scene enough to know that's not true…" He said sternly, with sincere concern in his voice.

"You're sweet to be concerned," She said, with almost no emotion, "I'm getting help, I promise."

He didn't respond and she was so happy that he didn't. She felt terrible lying to someone who was trying to be friendly. She was relieved when she saw her destination in the distance. The driver pulled over slowly and waited for her to collect herself and leave the cab.

"How much?" She said rummaging through her coat pocket.

"Look… promise me you get that pretty face of yours seen by a doctor, and this one's on me…" He said, turning to face her.

She shook her head, "No.. I..I can't let you do that." Before she could fight him on his offer anymore, he reset his meter leaving it reading zero.

He turned back to her, "Promise me." Sounding so sincere that it was as if he was one of her best friends; genuinely concerned.

She let out as much of a smile as she could and opened the door to leave the taxi. Before walking away she turned and leant down to the level of the window, "Thank you," She whispered, "There ought to be more people like you in this city."

He gave her thanks and rolled up his window to leave. He pulled away slowly leaving her standing alone in the middle of the street. She turned to look at the home he had brought her too. She was surprised to see a light on inside.

She was frozen in the middle of the street, nervous to approach his home; Elliot's home. She saw the children's toy on the front lawn, his car parked on the street. She attempted to walk up to his front door, but her aching made it so difficult. She winced as she walked; she didn't even want to think about how horrible she looked.

She finally reached his door, sighing at the realization of how much effort it had taken to walk from the street. She hated how ashamed she felt, she tried to make herself look as normal as possible before knocking. She ran her finger through her hair, ignoring the blood that was congealing to her head. She must have smoother her hair a hundred times before she felt comfortable, she couldn't help but notice how long she let her hair grow.

Her thoughts were distracted by the cold breeze that now brushed her face. She lifted her hand to his door and pulled it back down almost instantly. She sighed at herself and lifted her hand again. She gulped before knocking quietly.

She froze in fear when she heard the lock on the door shake and jumped a little when the door slowly opened.

"Olivia!" Kathleen said happily with a smile on her face.

"Oh God, Kathleen," She said trying to hide her face from his partners child, "I didn't know your dad had you guys this weekend"

By this time Kathleen's smile had dissipated, she noticed all the injuries that were visible on Olivia's body, "Livvie…" She said soothingly, "Come inside, I'll get Dad." She reached for Olivia's elbow, pulling her inside out of the cold. She scurried upstairs as Olivia stood in the middle of Elliot's living room.

The sound of Elliot's voice with Kathleen's made her nervous, she couldn't make out what they were saying but she could hear the worry in his tone. As they reached the stairs he heard Elliot tell Kathleen to go back to bed and that he would see him in the morning before hurrying down the stairs.

She had her back turned to him when she sensed him behind her.

"Liv?" He asked. She cringed at the worry in his voice; she hated doing that to him.

She slowly turned around to face him and watched his face go transmit so many different emotions that she had to close her eyes.

"Christ." He cursed through his teeth before pulling her into an embrace.

She winced in pain making him loosen his grip on her and he pulled back. Her eyes were still closed but she could feel him inspecting her for injuries.

"Open your eyes." He said.

She complied and opened her eyes to see him staring back at her. He looked concerned, confused, angry, almost every emotion that wasn't happy.

"What the hell happened, Liv?" He was now roaming her body with his eyes.

"I…uh…" She didn't know what to say. How was she supposed to tell him that she was now the victim he fights for every day.

"Liv, were you raped?" He asked putting both of his hands on her shoulders.

Tears were welling up in her eyes as she struggled to find the action to tell him her answer. She couldn't say it out loud…She just couldn't.

She closed her eyes as tightly as she could and nodded as she started to sob. She found herself in Elliot's embrace, sobbing uncontrollably as he tried to sooth her with his words. She couldn't hear what he was saying, but she felt safe…finally.

**Next chapter will probably be a mix of POV's. But I hope you liked it! and please review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks soooo much for all your amazing reviews. I'm so sorry for the gap in uploading the chapter; being a college student takes up the majority of my time!**

**Just to clarify, this is set after Elliot has left; I'm writing it as Olivia found Elliot but didn't want to just show up... well, at least until she needed to.**

**And DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, zip, nada. All credits to Dick Wolf and his awesomeness!**

She was standing alone in his living room while he poured her a glass of water in the kitchen. She couldn't help but notice her image in the large mirror on the large wall in front of her. She gasped at her face. There was an almost black bruise under her eyes, she had a scrape on her forehead, and her lip had burst open. She wondered how she didn't notice that her lip was bleeding.

She couldn't handle looking at her injuries anymore; she glanced around Elliot's home. She had never been here before, this was the first time she had seen him in almost a year. He had pictures of his children scattered everywhere, but her eyes were automatically drawn to the picture on his coffee table. She picked it up and stared at the memory. Elliot had his arms wrapped around her waist and was standing beside her; she was giving a smile that she forgot she even had.

"That's my favorite" He said from behind her. She was completely startled and jumped. "Sorry… Liv, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He approached her slowly handing her the glass of water.

She put her hand around the glass, trying her hardest to grip it tight as to not let it fall to the ground, but she couldn't. The glass fell, making a large crashing sound as it hit the floor and smashed.

"Shit, Elliot. I'm so sorry." She whispered, "I'm an idiot." She tried to bend down to the ground to clean it up, but a sudden wave of pain shocked her body and she gasped standing up straight again.

"Sit." He ordered as he bent down to pick up the pieces of glass on the ground.

She heard pattering on the floorboards above her as a quiet voice came from behind her, "Daddy? Is everything okay?"

Lizzie was standing at the bottom of the stairs, still half asleep, "Olivia?" She asked. Olivia turned around and gave a quick wave, she couldn't believe how much she had grown.

Elliot was quick to get to his daughter, "Everything's fine, sweetheart. How about you go get some sleep and you can talk to Olivia tomorrow?"

Lizzie nodded, still tired, "Night Dad… Bye, Livia!" She turned to go back upstairs and quietly got herself back into bed.

Olivia was sitting on his couch when Elliot came and sat on the coffee table directly in front of her. She noticed how he was looking at her, she knew she was going to have to tell him everything.

"I'm so sorry I woke your kids, I just assumed Kathy would have them…"

She was fidgeting with her fingers, waiting nervously for him to say something, anything.

"That's fine, Kathleen is usually up this late studying anyway" Elliot was looking at her so sympathetically, "Olivia… you know we need to get you to a hospital."

She nodded, knowing he was going to suggest that anyway, "Why didn't you go there first, Liv?" He asked.

She shrugged, "I don't know, El… You were the first person I thought to go to…" She was still fidgeting with her fingers, but more violently now. Elliot reached down and put his hands in hers, preventing her from playing with her hands.

"Liv…" He said softly, "How did you find me?"

She looked at him, with his hands still in hers, "I..uh…I've known where you were for about two months… I just couldn't find the courage to talk to you… I know you don't want to see me."

She bowed her head sadly. She looked at her clothes, they were filthy… She started to sniffle at the sight of herself.

"That's not true and you know it… Look, Liv… we are going to need to talk about this but first, we_ have_ to get you to a hospital."

She wasn't getting a choice in the matter; Elliot was already helping her stand up and taking her to the door.

Olivia waited as he scattered upstairs to tell Kathleen where he was going and came back down dressed more appropriately.

"Okay, let's go"

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"Okay, Olivia, we are going to get you situated somewhere and we'll have a nurse come and begin your rape kit" said the nurse on duty, "Here, if you can, put all your clothes into this bag… you know the drill"

Olivia took the evidence bags from her hands, "Unfortunately" she mumbled...

The nurse looked at her chart quickly, "Now do you want me to call an emergency contact, I have a Nick Amaro as your immediate."

Olivia shook her head, "That's not necessary, Elliot Stabler is outside, he's here with me."

The nurse nodded and led Olivia to the bathroom where she could change. In the bathroom, she began removing her clothes slowly and cautiously. She was happy that the nurse trusted her to bag everything herself. Once in her underwear and bra, she couldn't but notice her body in the mirror. She looked like a used punching bag, she had bruises on her abdomen, she was almost sure that she had a broken rib… She couldn't help but laugh at the irony but her laughing soon turned to tears.

She was startled by a knock at the door, wiping away tears from her face.

"Hey… it's El, I'm just checking on you…"

Without thinking, Olivia opened the door slightly and pulled him inside. She was standing in front of him exposed, vulnerable, and broken.

"Look at me…" She said angrily through tears indicating the injuries on her body, "Look at what I let him do to me!"

Olivia was startled by the sudden warmth that surrounded her body, Elliot had her arms tightly around her and she began to weep into his shoulder.

Elliot had seen this too many times, although it had always been from afar. It was always difficult watching a victim break down in front of their family and friends, but this time he _was_ the friend. He had no idea how to approach this situation other than being a detective. He pulled out of the embrace slowly and cupped her face gently.

"This is _not_ your fault…Liv, I know this is hard and I'm going to be here when you need me, but you need to remember what we preach to victims…"

Olivia nodded understandingly, "I know," She whispered, "But what's everyone going to think? SVU detective becomes the very victim she's supposed to protect? Oh God! I can't tell them, El. Cragen is going to lose it…Fin…"

Olivia became frazzled and began pacing, "I can't do it, El… I could barely tell you and you're the person I'm closest too… How am I supposed to do this?"

Elliot was incredibly understanding, he kept his distance, letting her pace, "Olivia, you're going to have to tell them… it's an obstacle, but it's one that we can overcome together… but let's get through the rape kit first…"

Olivia stopped pacing and let out a sigh, "Yeah… let's just get this over with…"

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Olivia was in with the nurses as Elliot waited outside. He was nervous for her; he had no idea how she was going to handle such an invasive procedure. But his Olivia is the strongest person he knows. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number that was etched in his memory.

"Cragen,"

Elliot sighed, he had hoped that he wouldn't pick up, "Hey Don… it's uh.. it's Elliot."

"Elliot Stabler! How the heck are ya?"

"Not great, I'm afraid, uh…" Elliot hesitated, not knowing if he should tell him without Olivia's permission, "Look, Olivia was attacked tonight, I'm at the hospital with her… she was raped, Don…Some son of a bitch raped her."

Elliot became angry, he was furious at anyone who would have to nerve to hurt a woman, let alone Ollivia.

"I'm on my way. Which hospital?"

"Lennox Hill, look… Don, she doesn't know that I told you…"

"I know, but I'm glad you did. I'm on my way."

With that Cragen hung up and Elliot was once again left with his mind wandering every painful scenario that Olivia could have experienced. He was happily disturbed by a nurse that came out of Olivia's examination room.

"How is she?" He asked promptly,

"She's not handling this well," She said sadly, "We did most of the examination, but she's refusing to let us swab for DNA. Think you could calm her down?"

Elliot nodded following the nurse into an examination room, before entering he heard Olivia's distressed voice.

"I just don't want to do this right now… you know what, I don't need it at all, it's fine" Olivia was rambling, "Yeah, I'll just go home…"

Olivia was distraught, she couldn't concentrate on any one thing, and she didn't notice Elliot telling the nurses to give them a minute.

"Olivia" Elliot said sternly but softly. She flipped to see him and put her hand up as if to tell him to stop. She didn't want to be convinced to do this.

"Elliot, I'm fine, I just need to go home and sleep it off…"

"Olivia Benson, are you even listening to yourself? If you don't do this another woman could be raped by this scumbag"

"Don't you dare give me the detective speech! Don't you think I know that?" She spat back furiously

He threw his hands in the air, "Not from where I'm standing." He replied harshly.

The tension was practically visible. Olivia was surprised and angered at his response; he could see it on her face. He gave her a minute to process what had just happened when her face started to soften and he caught a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. He approached her tentatively and took her hand, relieved when she didn't pull away.

"Liv," he cooed, "I'm so sorry. That was _completely_ out of line, I can't even begin to fathom what you're going through,"

She looked at him and gave him a weak smile, "I know," She said, fighting back tears, "I just really need my best friend right now, not a cop"

He squeezed her hand, "I'm here and we are going to get through this." He cupped her face a kissed her forehead as gently as he could, "I promise," He whispered as he pulled her into his chest.

She nodded into his chest, and took a deep breath in. Her nostrils were flooded with the smell of him, she had missed his smell so much. In this moment, it was as if he never left her, never left SVU.

"Stay with me?" She mumbled into his chest.

He pulled back, "You're ready?" He asked with a proud smile.

"Only if you're here with me." She said, "Please?" She begged.

"Of course, Liv."

Olivia sighed in relief and Elliot went to get the nurses. She got more and more nervous with every second that passed. She couldn't believe how terrified she felt. She sat on the hospital bed that was in her room and forced her eyes shut, partly because of the pain she felt while sitting and partly because she was thinking about every brave woman she had every been with when they did this. She knew she could do it.

"I can do it," she whispered to herself.

"What was that, hon?" Asked the nurse who had just walked in, Elliot following closely behind.

"Oh, nothing," She lied, not taking her eyes off of Elliot as he walked over to her.

"Yes you can," He whispered in her ear. She lay back on the hospital as the nurse prepared everything. Elliot didn't exactly know what she wanted from him, he pulled up a chair and sat on it making sure that his back was to the nurse and all that he could see was her face.

"This okay?" He asked. She took his hand and nodded.

"Okay, Miss Benson," said the nurse, "I'm going to try to do this as quickly as I can… If I hurt you, please tell me"

"Okay," Olivia breathed out and her entire body tensed with fear.

The nurse whispered to Elliot, "Talk to her, keep her calm… The more she tenses the more unpleasant this will be"

Elliot nodded and went back to look at Olivia, she winced in pain as the nurse began the exam. She squeezed his hand.

"You're doing great, Liv." He said supportively, "I missed you…" He said, not knowing what else to say.

She gave a stifled laugh, "Oh, we are _so_ not talking about that right now, Stabler,"

He laughed back, "Duly noted."

She strained her face in pain again, "God, when will this _end?_" Elliot quickly brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it carelessly.

"You're almost done" He responded trying to calm her.

"We're done here," The nurse quickly. "We will get the results to your ME as soon as possible"

The nurse left the room and Olivia let out a relieved sigh and began to resituate her body so she could sit up properly.

"I'm proud of you, Liv"

She smiled at his statement as the door swung open quickly and there stood Don Cragen with some spare clothes. Olivia was horrified that her captain was standing in front of her, she clutched onto Elliot's shoulder, pulling him in front to cover her, she didn't want him to see her like this.

"The nurse said I could give these to you…" Cragen handed them to Elliot before scurrying out, not wanting to be present for the blowup that was about to happen.

Oilvia was in a state of shock, disbelief, embarrassment. "How..How did he know?" She stuttered.

"Liv," He said nervously, "I called him"

Olivia snapped her head to look at him, "I'm sorry, you _what?_"

**Really hoped you love it! I can't wait to get into the hardcore EOness, but I've gotta cover the basis first.**

**R&R and I'll have the next chapter up soon :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Your reviews are amaaazing. Thank you all for loving this story, I'm really enjoying writing it.**

**So this is a long one and definitely RATED M for a rape scene. It was horribly difficult to write, and it's probably terrible... But you gotta try things, right?**

**Once again, I own NOTHING.**

She was walking furiously back and forth across her hospital room wearing the clothes that Cragen had brought her; a loose pair of jeans, a black tank, and a grey zipped hoodie.

"I _cannot_ believe you called him," she spat furiously, still walking aimlessly around the room. If she were to stop moving she might explode at him, "What possessed you to do something like that behind my back? You're supposed to be my friend."

She was frantic, almost as if she were talking to herself.

He jumped into gear defensively, "Liv, I called him because I _am_ you friend. He's practically your father," She halted in her path and looked at him angrily.

She knew he was right, he was always right.

"Besides, Olivia, you need to give a statement, and I'm not a cop anymore, I can't take it…"

She folded her arms bitterly, "God, El. You don't think I already know that? I just wish you had asked me first…" She sat gently in the closest chair, "I really, _really_ didn't want him to see me like this, I wanted to at least go home and shower first."

Elliot rose from his seated position and walked towards her as she threw her sight at the floor so she didn't have to look at him. He knew she was angry as he offered his hand to her, praying that she would comply and take it.

When she didn't nudge at his offer he sighed, "Liv, I'm sorry. I called him so you didn't have to. It would be one less thing you had to endure tonight. All we need to do is get that statement and then you can go home and shower. You can shower a thousand times over, but you need to do this tonight. You know how important it is."

She sighed at him, knowing once again that he was right.

"I don't want to…" She said while clenching her teeth, fighting back a flood of tears., "I just want it to be yesterday …" The emotions that she had tried so hard to keep inside started to seep from her body as she began to sob.

He knelt to her level almost immediately and pulled her into him, "Come here," He whispered, embracing her, trying to soother her. She sobbed more violently as he whispered supportive phrases into her ear.

She calmed in his embrace and threw her arms around his neck carefully; ignoring the pain it caused her, and squeezed as tightly as she could.

"You know, this is the second worst day of my life…" She muttered into his shoulder,

He pulled away from her tight embrace, "Second? Liv, what the hell could be worse that being assaulted?" He asked with frustration but trying to speak as gently as he could.

She cleared her throat, hesitant to answer his question. He was brushing hair that had melded with the moist tears on her face.

"Honestly, the day I lost you…" she admitted quietly.

He felt a painful pang of guilt race through his veins at her admission. He pulled away from her and stuttered.

"Liv..I…" He couldn't think of anything to say, let alone the right thing to say.

"Sorry," She rebutted quickly grabbing his hand, "That didn't come out the way I wanted it too, this is by _far_ the worst….I just…I just missed you." He squeezed her hand as she spoke, "So much…"

"I missed you too…leaving without saying goodbye is the most stupid mistake I've ever made in my life. Liv, we will talk about this, I promise, but right now my priority is getting your statement and getting you home, okay?"

He stood up right and headed toward the door, turning to look at her before he left. Her face was completely stricken with worry.

"Liv?" He asked with concern in his voice, she stood up quickly and hurried to him and clutched onto his arms as she started to shake in fear.

"I can't go home… I can't be by myself. What if he comes back?, what if…"

"Liv!" He cuts her off, "You didn't seriously think I would make you go home alone, did you? You're staying with me until we catch this piece of dirt."

She looked up at him, he noticed that her eyes were rimmed with tears just begging to flow. She opened her mouth to respond but didn't get the opportunity to.

"You're not arguing with me on this… I'll be outside, come out when you're ready, okay?"

She nodded and loosened her grip on him, allowing him the means to leave. He kissed tenderly on the forehead and left her alone. Once outside, Cragen was already standing up and walking to him.

"Elliot. I am so sorry. I just assumed you told her I was coming. It's fair to say the look on her faced proved otherwise,"

Elliot shook his head, "I should have told her, it's on me," Elliot ran his hands over his face stressfully and exhaled hoarsely, "Don, I can't do this, she's so broken…I'm not the right person to support her," he was feeling himself fight back the tears that were gathering unwantedly in his eyes, "That bastard hurt Olivia… and I can't do anything."

"Yes you can, and you will. That's an order." Cragen said sternly, "She lost you once and are sure as hell not walking away from her again, not on my watch."

Elliot looked to the ground in shame, he was so selfish when he left her without saying anything. There was no way he could do it again. He was relieved to feel a supporting hand on his shoulder.

"Elliot, she came to you for a reason. You might not think you can help, but _she_ thinks you can, that's all that's important. I called everyone into work…We are going to catch this guy and Olivia will have her family all around her… including you."

Elliot breathed heavily and nodded his head, "You have to let me work on the case."

"That's not gonna happen and you know it, Stabler. You're retired… and even if you weren't, you still couldn't. My ass is going to be on the line enough as it is… our unit is working this case whether my superiors like it or not."

Elliot was about to argue with him when they heard the door behind them open and Olivia came out meekly. She looked Cragen in the eye and gave him the best smile she could, but to no avail it ended up not being much of anything.

"Hey, Don," She whispered.

"Hey sweetheart," he responded stepping forward wrapping his arms timidly around her frame. His body released a breath of relief at the warmth of her body, he was so glad she was okay…to some extent anyway. He kissed her hair lightly, letting her go after their brief embrace.

"Thanks for the clothes,"

Cragen smiled, "Of course. You ready to head to the station?"

She sighed nonchalantly and shrugged, looking to Elliot for support. He nodded his head and reached for her hand.

"Yeah…let's go."

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The car ride was nothing more than awkward silence. They reached the precinct and she already hated the thought of what she was going to have to do. It was so hard to hear victims tell her how they were violated and now her friends and family were going to hear how _she_ was violated.

_I really don't want to do this._

Her thoughts were interrupted by the halt of the engine and car doors opening. She thanked Elliot quietly as he opened her car door and helped her out. She shivered at the cold New York breeze and pulled her hoodie more snuggly around her.

"We'll make this quick, Liv, I promise," Cragen said softly.

"Yeah," She said bluntly and walked into the precinct.

She remained silent until they reached the squad room but halted abruptly at the door noticing that everyone was there. Nick stood up when he saw her, Amanda ended her phone call quickly, and Fin and Munch started walking towards her.

She panicked. She turned quickly and sprinted toward the elevators.

"Liv?" Elliot asked as he started in her direction. He reached her at the elevator and watched her hit the down button violently. Elliot grabbed her hand with his to stop the unnecessary attack on the button that she was committing. Once feeling his contact, she began to cry. She had tried to be strong the entire night, but she couldn't do it anymore. She turned, threw her back into the wall and slipped down to sit against the wall with her legs pulled tightly to her chest.

She rested her head in her knees and sobbed violently. Elliot made the hard decision to let her cry without so much as a hand to hold. He knew that she needed to let it out, and he wasn't going to stop her this time unless she reached out to him.

After almost five minutes of constant tears and sobbing, she finally reached.

"El…" She cried as he knelt to her and encased her body with his, "I am _so _mad at myself…how did I let this happen? I'm so scared, El… I wanna go home…"

"You have no reason to be scared, Liv" He cooed as his hand ran threw her hair tentatively; he was sure not to disturb any healing wounds in her scalp.

She lifted her head to look at him. Her eyes were puffy and red from her tears.

"I don't?" She asked.

"Not at all," He said as he pointed back towards to squad room.

She turned to look and saw them. Her entire family in front of her, ready to be the support she needed.

Fin was the first to approach. He reached both of his hands out to her, offering support to stand up straight. She smiled and took his hands and was pulled up effortlessly. Without even a second to thank him, she was in his tight embrace.

"Nobody hurts my girl," He whispered, getting a stifled laugh back in return.

He placed a kiss on her forehead and slipped his arm around her back, turning her to face the others. Elliot had joined them. She approached them one by one giving them small hugs, trying to be the strong Benson they were used to working with.

"How about we get some coffee, huh, Benson?" Amanda asked, knowing that the guys were all eager to discuss their plan of action.

"Coffee sounds amazing,"

Both women walked to get themselves coffee and the guys eagerly huddled in a tight circle.

"We are working this case," Cragen stated, "But we have to be level headed, if we let this get too personal we can cause more trouble."

"Is that such a good idea?" Munch piped in, "I'm pretty sure we all want to get our hands on this guy, I mean, our victim is Olivia for God's sake"

"I know, but I'm not handing this case to anyone else unless we have to. So I'm sure we all want to get things off out chest before we go in there, don't we?"

"I'm gonna kill him," Nick gritted through his teeth.

"Get in line, kid," Elliot responded.

"I don't care which one of you kills him, but I get to watch Liv kick his ass." Fin said bluntly.

"Good," Cragen sighed noticing how this was already affecting his team, "Now let's get in there, but please don't treat her too much like a victim. It's Olivia, you know she will resent you for it."

All the men nodded and walked into the squad room but before Nick could walk he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Elliot was gripping onto him.

"Elliot." He said, holding out his hand.

Nick agreed to the handshake, "Nick. Nick Amaro. I've heard quite a bit about you, Detective."

"Good things I hope…" Elliot responded retracting his hand, expecting Nick to be blunt with him.

"Surprisingly, yes. I don't know you, but I respect the work you did here." Nick replied.

Elliot was relieved, "Thanks for watching her back when I couldn't" He whispered to him.

They both turned to look at Olivia sitting at her desk, playing with the coffee mug in front of her nervously.

"I didn't do a very good job," Nick mumbled to himself.

Both walked into the squad room and it was painfully silent. Nick sat down at what used to be Elliot's desk and Elliot stood awkwardly.

Cragen's office door opened, "Okay, Olivia. You want to come in here and we can get your statement?"

Olivia cleared her throat and stood up, "Look guys," She said as an announcement to everyone, "I don't want you all to have to read this in a report or hear it from Cragen."

She stopped speaking, thinking over what she was about to suggest.

"Liv?" Elliot asked.

"I want all of you to hear it from me," she blurted out, "Can I give my statement out here?" She directed at Cragen.

All eyes went to Cragen, "Olivia, are you sure? This is a really delicate time…"

"I know, but I really want to do this." She pleaded.

Cragen sighed, "It's your call, Liv."

She sank back into her chair, sighing heavily. Elliot gave her shoulder a slight squeeze, she looked up at him and nodded at him. He knew she really needed to do this. Elliot signaled for everyone to get closer to her. Cragen brought himself and Elliot a chair and everyone was gathered in a circle around her desk, it was almost like an uncomfortable family dinner.

Seeing how delicately they were all looking at her made her nervous. Munch, who was sitting on her right, reached down and held her hand. She gasped at the gesture; she was so lost in her thoughts.

She cleared her throat and looked at everyone once more. She didn't know where to start.

"I uh…" She stuttered, "I was having a rough night, so I went to a bar that's a few blocks from my apartment."

_Olivia was putting her coat on to leave the bar._

_"Aw, you're leaving already, Olivia?" asked one of the men she was sitting with._

_"I can only handle so much football in one night," She winked, "Besides; I have work in the morning. I'll catch you all later, okay?" She started for the door as the group of men turned to wave goodbye to her._

_She waved back before waltzing out into the cold breeze, the taste of alcohol still on her tongue. She pulled her jacket tighter around her body as the ice cold air became an issue. Luckily, it didn't take long for her to get to her apartment. _

_She rustled in her pockets to find her apartment key. She jiggled the key in the lock a couple of times, it always seemed to get stuck lately, and opened the door to her apartment. She closed the door behind and reached for the light switch and flipped it. She was surprised when her lights didn't turn on._

_"Hmm, that's weird," she mumbled to herself. She reached around aimlessly in the dark, trying to reach the lamp that was placed in the middle of her living room. She found it and flipped that light on to reveal a masked man standing not two feet away from her._

_Olivia let out a small yelp in fear, backing away from the mysterious figure in her home. She instinctively reached for her weapon and cursed when it wasn't there, _

_"Shit."_

_She ran for her front door and planned to get the attention of her neighbors._

_"Oh I wouldn't do that…" his voice said. She heard a gun cock behind her and she stood with her back to him throwing her hands above her head in shock._

_To her surprise, he laughed when she did._

_"That was easier than I thought… aren't you tougher than that Detective?" _

_He started edging closer and closer to her, she couldn't see him but she could feel his weight shift through the floorboards. Her breathing quickened as she felt the barrel of his weapon trail lightly up the back of her shirt, reaching her hair and he pushed it more firmly onto her scalp._

_"You have a gun to my head," she said quietly with fear in her voice, "Exactly how tough were you expecting me to be?"_

_She had angered him, he lifted the weapon up and smacked her violently over the head with his handle of the gun._

_She felt an immense pang of pain run through her head as she reached up grasping the tender area. She winced when she realized he had hit her so hard to cause her to bleed. This guy wasn't playing around. _

_With no warning, he spun her around and pushed her aggressively into her front door. He brought one forearm up to her neck and applied pressure; enough to keep her in one place, but not enough to make her struggle for breath. Her eyes widened in horror as she watched him put his gun away and pull out a long blade. He started tracing the tip of the blade along her jawline when she closed her eyes tightly._

_"You know, I've learned I get much more control with this little wonder," He smirked, "The ladies are much more afraid of being cut up than shot…weird, huh?" He asked when he noticed her eyes were still closed._

_"Open your eyes, bitch," He said firmly and he pressed the blade a little harder to her face. Her eyes shot open, praying that he would pull the knife away._

_When her eyes opened a tear fell, "What do you want?" She cried._

_The man smiled, happy with the power he was possessing. He loosened the grip from around her neck and slipped his arm behind her back, around her waist and pulled her close to him. Her eyes widened once more as he reached up to the mask around his neck and pulled it off._

_She gasped at the sight of him, not because he was horrendous or that she recognized him, but more at how normal he looked. He was just your average looking guy, maybe even slightly attractive._

_He leaned in close to her hair and breathed in through his nose, smelling her. He reached to the wound on her head, "Sorry about that," she gritted her teeth at his touch, "I just don't do very well with sarcasm…especially from a woman." _

_He shifted his weight away from her slightly._

_"I bet you're excited for what I have planned, Olivia. You're going to love it." He said excitedly. He pulled her over to her couch and signaled for her to sit down. She really didn't want to give him anymore control so she refused. His very short temper led to a lightning bolt of anger shaking through his body as he took as swing at Olivia's face. She screamed in pain as she clutched her face. She felt as if he had shattered her cheek bone._

_"Are you going to sit now?" He asked more demandingly._

_Olivia didn't hear him speak a second time as the pain from his punch was still rattling through her body. _

_When she didn't respond again, he completely lost it._

_"Fine, we will do this my way. I tried to make this easy… but it's clear I'm going to have to take what I want." He spat furiously._

_He grabbed her body and pulled her into him and smashed his lips onto hers. She soured at his touch and tried her hardest hit him away. He handled the hitting but when she scratched his face he went into a violent frenzy as he lost any ounce of patience he may have had. He pushed her violently, sending her flying over her coffee table, taking all the items off it and landing harshly on top of them._

_She hissed in pain as she pieces of a broken vase sliced through her shirt and she felt the corner of a photo frame digging into her back. She reached under her and pulled out the frame. She brought the picture to her face and let out a small sob. It was the last picture she had ever taken with Elliot. They both looked so happy._

_In her thoughts of Elliot, she almost forgot about the violent intruder in her home until he spoke. He had come around to her and kneeled next to her cut up body, hitting the frame out of her hand._

_"Does my little Olivia miss her precious Elliot?" He asked in a patronizing tone, "He left you remember, with nothing as much as a phonecall…"_

_She really got scared, "How do you know that?" She asked as she tried to stand up, he kicked her harshly in the ribs making her efforts mean nothing. She crashed down into the glass below her and let out a scream in pain._

_"Who are you!?" She yelled through a sob._

_"Who me?" He asked, "I'm your worst nightmare, darlin'"_

_He roughed a fist into her hair and pulled her upright by her hair only. She was in so much pain that she opened her more to yell but nothing came out. Once standing he pushed her onto the couch and quickly lay on top of her, pushing all this weight onto her._

_He lifted his upper body slightly and began to playfully tickle her with the tip of the blade that he was holding so comfortably. She shivered under him in terror as he laughed at her reactions._

_"You know, Olivia," He whispered as he began cutting buttons one by one off her purple shirt, "You are very beautiful…way too beautiful to be in law enforcement."_

_He had cut her shirt and she was lying below him, exposed in a black bra._

_"You don't have to do this," She whimpered, tears starting to well in her eyes, "Please don't do this…." She begged._

_Once again, he laughed, "Aw poor Olivia, not wanting to end up like Mommy Benson…"_

_She stifled out a sob at the mention of her mother. He was now tracing his knife up her abdomen, this time harder, even drawing blood in some places. She winced in pain but stayed completely still._

_"I am really surprised at how much you haven't fought me…That's the only reason I brought the gun," He pulled his knife away from her skin, "You're a lot easier than I could have imagined."_

_He reached down to the button of her jeans and popped it open. That action really brought everything into perspective. This was really going to happen and she was doing nothing about it. In a failing attempt she became hysterical, crying and fighting him, hoping that he would stop._

_"Please…" She cried, she was pushing his body with all her might, trying to free herself from his weight._

_"I don't think so." He grunted, pushing back onto her harshly. He had his knife at her throat, "Now is Olivia going to behave? Because I could end you in a second…" He threatened, his eyes had changed. They weren't normal anymore; she stared into pure evil when she looked into his eyes._

_"Are you going to behave?" He asked more sternly, pushing his knife harder onto her neck. She nodded her head erratically, "Good." He smirked as he pulled her shoes off and began to shuffle her jeans off of her legs. She cried more violently now, she couldn't help but think she was being a coward, that she should try harder to escape him. His dry hands were rubbing up her legs as she wept. She considered making a run for it, but was aware of the weapons he had. She kept telling herself that her priority was surviving. All she had to do was survive._

_Her thoughts had allowed her to escape her attack for a few moments but was brought back by the sound of his zipper being pulled down. Realizing she was now only in her underwear and her ripped shirt, she became still with fear. He brought the knife to her panties and sliced them off of her body._

_She watched as he licked his lips and reached into his pants. It was then that she clenched her eyes closed tightly._

_"No,no,no,no,no…" She whispered as he settled between her legs. _

_Keeping her eyes closed she hit him a couple of times trying to prevent what he was about to do, but she failed._

_He grabbed her wrists and held then tightly above her head and whispered into her ear, "You are going to love this…"_

_He forced himself into her and she howled in pain. There were no words to describe the pain, fear or shame she was feeling. As he was forcing himself in and out of her violently, grunted in pleasure, she was sobbing, wincing in pain, but felt numb at the same time. Her eyes were still shut as she felt his teeth clamp down hard on the skin of her neck. _

_She hissed in pain, "Please stop…" She cried. He laughed at her request and leant into her ear, still keeping up with his agonizing pace in and out of her body._

_"Tell me you love it," he demanded of her._

_She shook her head frantically, with tears still streaming from her eyes. He scoffed and released her wrists, but she didn't have time to fight him with them because he now had the gun from his pants at her temple._

_"Tell me. Now." He said more harshly._

_She choked in a sob and complied, not that she had much of a choice._

_"I love it," she said bluntly with no emotion, but luckily it was enough to satisfy him. At her words he began to feel more pleasure and began pushing into her faster. His mouth was now at her neck once more and she could feel his breathing quickening against her skin. His moaning became louder as he released himself inside her._

_She scoffed in disgust when she felt him let go inside of her body and tried to squirm away. After he had come down from his high, he pulled out of Olivia and she flinched in pain. _

_He nonchalantly zipped his pants and smiled at her._

_"You're better than I ever imagined."_

_Her eyes were still closed, she hadn't looked at him once. She was still lying on the couch, trembling in fear. He walked over and looked down at her and swung his fist into her ribs._

_"Look at me," He said harshly._

_She opened her eyes quickly, hoping that he would leave if she did. Once they were open, he knelt down and got very close to her face._

_"You're my favorite," He whispered, "I'll definitely be back for seconds…"_

_Her body stiffened at his voice. She thought she could feel anymore fear than she already did, and boy was she wrong!_

_He pressed his lips onto hers one last time before walking to the door to leave._

_"Say hi to Mr. Stabler for me, won't you?" He laughed as he left._

_She jumped at the sound of the door slamming closed and lay on her couch for what felt like an hour. She didn't move. She didn't try, she didn't even know if she could. _

_She was in a state of disbelief. She couldn't believe she had just let that happen to herself. She was angry at her lack of fight. What happened to Detective Benson that would have fought so much harder than that?_

_Her mind replayed the events that had just occurred in her home and needed to free herself from the memories. She sat up through her pain. Her jeans were close enough to reach and she struggled to get them on, but did. The buttons on her shirt were no longer functional, so she improvised and tied the bottom of it closed, making sure to cover as much as she could. _

_She painfully squeezed into her jacket and slowly opened her door. She peered through the peephole before completely opening it. She sighed when there wasn't a soul in her hall and sprinted down the stairs, not bothering to lock her apartment. Once downstairs she ran into the street and slipped quickly into a cab that was luckily sitting already outside her apartment building._

_ "Queens…go." She said._

"…and then I ended up at Elliot's" She finished. Her face was stained with tears, "I went to the hospital and came here…"

Cragen pushed the stop button of the tape recorder and wiped away some stray tears threatening to fall from his eyes and looked at the members of his squad.

Elliot had his heads in his hands. Munch was hugging Olivia tightly, whispering into her ear. Amanda's eyes were dripping with tears while Fun rubbed her back in support and Nick was emotionless; he stared blankly ahead. Cragen watched the people he loved suffer before his eyes.

He rose from his chair and cleared his throat slightly, gaining the attention of those he could.

"This case is our priority, and we start working it now. Fin, Amanda, I want you to track down this cab driver. It's unlikely, but he may have seen something. Munch, Nick, go to Olivia's. It's our crime scene and we need all the evidence we can get. I'll call and get some people out there to help you."

All four nodded and rose from their chairs slowly, grabbing their badges and weapons and leaving to do their instructed tasks, making sure to say something to Olivia on the way out.

Once it was just the three of them left in the squad room, Cragen walked to Olivia and helped her out of her chair. Elliot was still processing her story with his head buried deep in his hands.

Cragen hugged Olivia tightly and she sobbed into him softly.

"I'm so sorry, Liv…" He whispered.

As they embraced, Elliot looked up and met Cragen's eyes. Still holding Olivia he told him, "Take her to your place and let her rest."

Elliot stood up, "Of course, Captain."

Cragen loosened their embrace and the pulled apart. He smiled at her, "Get some sleep and come back tomorrow and we can go through some more details, ok? You think you could describe this guy to a sketch artist?"

She wiped her falling tears, "Probably," She sniffled, "but there really wasn't anything special about him… he looked like the average guy…"

She started playing with the strings of her sweater, "I just want to sleep…"

"Okay, then let's get out of here," Elliot said.

As they were leaving, Cragen pulled Elliot back quickly and whispered in his ear, "This was personal, Elliot… he knew things about her only we know. Keep her talking."

Elliot nodded and rushed back to Olivia's side. He wrapped his arm around her waist and walked towards the elevator.

"Oh, and Elliot, I changed my mind" Cragen yelled from behind them, "You are on this case… Welcome back Detective."

**Well, I hope you all still like this story after my attempts! Please review and if you're all still liking it, I'll have a new chapter up soon :)**

**Thanks!**


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